2020 has certainly been a year of surprises! There’s no denying that.
To be honest though, I’m pretty sure many of us were secretly holding out for a zombie apocalypse, if the TV shows and movies of the past few years are anything to judge by!
So I asked myself, what would this be like if this was a zombie apocalypse? And why would a zombie apocalypse be better than the events of the world we’re currently facing?
Here are 24 Reasons Why a Zombie Apocalypse would be better than the Events of 2020 so far.
The infographic is below the article. Click here to jump to the infographic.
1. You know what the problem is
Look it just doesn’t get clearer than a zombie charging at you.
Now we’re just in limbo. We can sense something is wrong, but we can’t entirely put our finger on what it is.
And we dare not go looking, in case we’re labelled conspiracy theorists!
2. You know who the enemy is
Again this is clear. It’s the dead, decaying, smelly piece of flesh trying to eat you for breakfast.
Now your enemies are everywhere… the black person you’ve always been friends with, cancel culture, clients, your boss, the outrage mob. Hell, a statue could fall on you!
As if potentially dying to this novel virus wasn’t bad enough already.
3. You know what to do
Run. That’s what you do.
Never mind the photo albums, make-up bag or laptop: you run and get away from the zombies.
4. You understand the urgency
What is that? A zombie. When do we run? NOW!
It’s easy… see zombie? RUN!
5. It happens quickly, not a in long drawn-out limbo
Once you have the first zombie, the others follow quickly. And every guy that dies on your side, automatically joins the other team.
Within a short while, no more than a few days - maybe weeks - the plague will have spread far and wide already.
The bodies will literally be piling up in the streets. Well, shuffling up and down the streets to be more accurate.
6. The challenges are clear
Avoid the zombies. Find safe shelter. Find food. Keep people alive.
No one’s going to be worried about their comfort, their appearance, or their stock portfolio.
Now there’s only one clear objective: stay alive and keep as many of your people alive as possible.
7. You know when to be scared
When the zombies are coming at you; if you’re in an unsafe space; if there’s nowhere secure to hide yourselves.
You also know to be cautious and that perimeter guards aren’t optional. Neither are guns.
It’s kill or be killed.
8. You know who to be scared of
It’s them versus us all the way… and it’s clear who the “them” and “us” are.
That doesn’t mean that no one on your team will get drafted to the other squad, but the moment they turn, it will be obvious.
9. You know who to be cautious around
The enemies are the zombies… not your awesome next door neighbour, or the colleague you consider a friend.
Now, cancel culture & outrage mob are threatening people’s survival in a way that doesn’t even give them a fighting chance to survive.
10. It’s obvious when someone is ill
It’s the trying to bite and viciously attack you that gives it away.
Nowadays however, someone sneezing from a pollen allergy could be perceived as anything.
11. It’s obvious they can’t be helped
You can’t help the zombie - it’s going to bite you. So you’re not tempted to.
Okay yes, there are those crazies in all the zombie lore, who keep their partners or kids after they’ve turned; but in reality, most people would be way too grossed out by the idea of being eaten, or having a dead, decaying, smelly piece of flesh around.
12. Zombies are clearly sick
Nowadays, you never know if the other person is only a little bit sick, but maybe you could die? Maybe you’re in the 0,2% for which this is fatal?
All this talk of “asymptomatic” carriers has only raised the fear levels so much more!
Also - no more “is the virus real?” debates!
13. You won’t be punished for helping another human being
You will be punished for helping in the current crisis however!
If the person is a little bit sick, or even really sick, but can get better, then shouldn’t you help them?
It makes sense that you’d say yes, but instead we get quarantined for exposure or contact. Put into a facility for at least 14 days.
With zombies you know you can’t help and so you won’t be tempted to try. Once they’ve been bitten, they’re done.
14. You won’t be punished for hanging out with friends
In fact, friends are encouraged as a necessary means of survival.
Now, if you’re simply in the vicinity of someone who is suspected to have Coldemort (the-illness-that-shall-not-be-named), you can earn 14 days in quarantine.
15. You can get a machete
When the zombie really annoys you, chop its head off. It’s that easy.
Apparently we’ll get into trouble if we do that in the current climate. More’s the pity ;)
16. You get to be badass!
Seriously, who doesn’t want to walk around with two zombies tied to chains, à la Michone?
Instead, we’re all just sitting at home, waiting for our governments to steal more of our liberties.
17. Everyone would be on the same page
You don’t have to try and convince anyone of what’s going on. People are clear: zombies bad.
See zombie? RUN!
18. You’d be safe on the Internet
If the Internet was still running, you be safe on it.
Now simply liking a post can set you in the sights of cancel culture and the outrage mob.
19. Nobody would be trying to vaccinate or chip us
Yes, you’d be fleeing a horde of bloodthirsty zombies, but at least your eternal soul would not be in peril.
Also, some people are really scared of injections!
20. No more masks!
Masks don’t protect against bites. And the zombie virus isn’t airborne.
We’d finally all be able to breathe freely again!
Not sure how good the rotting corpses would smell though.
21. People would social distance voluntarily
You wouldn’t have to ask people twice to stay away from the infected.
Social distancing, in this instance, would take care of itself.
22. You wouldn’t still have to work
One of the clear things we thought the end of the world would bring, would be an end to the 9-to-5 grind. But no luck there hey!
So in the midst of all the craziness, you still have work stuff to deal with - and now business is even harder to find.
23. You’d have less relatives
Yes, they might all have turned into zombies, but at least your relatives won’t be moving into your house because they’ve all lost their jobs.
24. We’d finally realize money means nothing
We wouldn’t be talking about the worst recession ever, 300-million extra people dying of hunger, and millions of job losses.
It would be tough to be on the run yes, but in a way, what we’re facing in the next few months is going to be way tougher.