Going Numb on the Ego Journey - Why you need to create drama
Thomas Szasz has a few really good books worth reading, if you can get past the superfluous language lol :) One of my favorites is pleasure and pain.
In the book, Szasz presents the following idea: pleasure is not a thing in and of itself, pleasure is actually the absence of pain.
So in order to experience pleasure, you need the contrast of pain to know the pain has gone away.
As you go further on the Ego journey though, you become ever better at stepping past the Ego emotions of doubt, fear, shame, anger, resistance, etc.
These Ego emotions are often what we classify as pain on the journey, and without that pain to take away, there's no pleasure at the end of the lesson.
So we have a problem: we need pain to experience pleasure in contrast, but we make ourselves immune to feeling pain.
So we take the pain we create to the next level - sacrifice and loss. Otherwise known as ego deaths.
This gives us a more intense pain to experience, and so by contrast the breakthrough to pleasure (the absence of pain) is so much steeper.
So we really do make our lessons and drama bigger as we go further on our journey, often because the drama is the only way we can feel something.
Going numb in between is a normal part of the journey. Feeling less big surges of joy is also a good sign you're moving up out of the 500s on the human consciousness scale.
Going numb can trip you up at first - especially because the 500s level is so much about the joy of God.
Above 600/700 you're moving into the ineffable - is. Acceptance. Balance.
Loads of us get tripped up here. Don't let the boredom get to you. Part of the job is learning to manage that load.
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