Bonding tools for Long Distance Relationships

How do you build and maintain a romantic bond without touch, smell or sex in a long distance relationship?

When you’re in a long distance relationship it can feel like you are limited in so very many ways, first because you don’t have the basics available to you – you can’t make love or walk over and give each other a hug for example.

The second thing that makes this situation difficult is that you can only rely on the senses of sight, sound and energetic connection; taste, smell and physical touch are completely removed from the equation.

The last stumbling block when it comes to long distance relationships is time: you barely have enough time to catch up on each other’s days… how are you expected to find the time to do bonding exercises so that your relationship doesn’t fall apart?

Each of the exercises below can be performed on their own or combined together for an added boost. The exercises are best performed over Skype where you can see and hear each other, but if Skype and audio contact is limited then you can synchronize your efforts by coordinating to perform the exercises at the same time, or coordinating over a messenger service.

Soul Gazing

Soul Gazing is the simplest of the tools listed here and it has you both gazing into each other’s eyes.

Gazing directly into each other’s eyes isn’t always as easy at it seems on Skype though, so the first thing you’ll have to do is move devices and cameras around until you find a position where you can see each other directly in the eyes.

Once you are gazing into each other’s eyes, the aim is to hold the position for as long as you can. It’s very normal to want to laugh or say something at this stage, and if it’s too much for you then let the laughter out or say I love you.

Once you’re more comfortable with the process, try lying down on your bed and placing your partner like they’re lying there with you, or use a song to time the gazing tool.

Synchronized Breathing

Synchronized Breathing is an exercise that will require you to practice together a little bit first.

Find a rhythm that you agree on:

  1. In for 3 seconds
  2. Hold for 3 seconds
  3. Out for 3 seconds

What may help is if one of you visually marks the timing with your hands in the beginning, showing the 1, 2, 3 count with your fingers.

Once you have your rhythm and flow for the breathing, look into each other’s eyes and practice synchronized breathing for 3 to 9 breaths at first.

You can increase the amount of breaths if you feel you need a deeper connection.

This is an easy and quick tool to use when you are time pressed and haven’t been able to connect properly. This tool can also be modified to be used on a phone to bring you into entrainment with each other.

Heart-Based Connections

Heartmath’s Quick Coherence Technique is a versatile and all-in-one technique that you can use for a variety of applications, from stress management to forgiveness and more.

The heart-based feeling of care and compassion generated when using the technique is unparalleled by anything else freely available out there.

Using the basic heart-connection process, each of you can place your fingers onto your heart center while bringing your focus there. Now imagine you are breathing in and out from that center, imagining a cloud of color if it helps you.

Now think of a loving, positive memory while looking into each other’s eyes or looking at each other. What may further help anchor the entrainment is if you think about a shared memory that was positive for both of you.

A further variation on the exercise would be to hold heart focus while you discuss future plans and dreams or set goals for the future.

Imago Gratitude

Whether your relationship is romantic, business or family, every relationship benefits from the introduction of gratitude – and often they benefit really quickly.

The basic premise of Imago Gratitude is that each partner takes time to thank the other for three things everyday – no matter how big or small those things are. The receiving partner can only say thank you.

In a long distance relationship, up the number of gratitude deliveries a day and scatter them throughout the day.

Make a point of acknowledging and thanking your partner for big and small things as many times a day as you can and make this habit a regular part of your communication.

Not only will the acknowledgement make your partner feel great, but the gratitude practice will raise your own vibration and you’ll establish gratitude and acknowledgement as foundation communication practices within your relationship. Talk about killing three birds with one stone ;)

Written by Chemory Gunko/Amara Christi

Chemory GunkoThe author and creator of the Life Coaches Toolbox, Healer, Life Coach & NLP Practitioner, Chemory Gunko, also known as Amara Christi.

To learn more about working with Amara, click here.

To read what clients have to say about Amara, click here.

To view Amara's articles, click here.

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