Money, Money, Money… Why you're experiencing money issues - and why you will be grateful for them later on!
This also applies to other losses you may experience, and the sudden falls from grace we’ve been seeing among public figures and in the people in our lives
So when the gist of this morning’s post arrived I was surprised and excited - this lesson is a big level up if you apply it correctly.
Losing money and financial security is a big ego death on the journey, because the greed inherent in the morphic field makes money feel crucial to our survival.
First there is the tangible layer of physical needs such as food, shelter and warmth. This can pretty much be argued away by saying that God provided for all of that in nature - what we really secure ourselves against is other people.
The next layer of intangibles is where the system really hooks you in… retirement policies and 401Ks (I think I got the terminology right for the US with that - I stand to be corrected), health insurance, vehicle and asset insurance.
Then of course there are policies to prepare for your child’s education so that they can have a secure future, and monthly payments into wealth building programs and basically whatever else they can make up for you to give them a monthly amount for.
And you adopt this all, and before you realize it, you start to believe that you have to have these things. You get used to having them around in your morphic field, and when they are threatened (i.e. you can’t meet the monthly payments), you start to panic, because the security of regular income in case of accident, or of being able to walk into a hospital and obtain medical help, now feels like something you cannot live without.
So one of the challenges I’m going to set to help you first today is go and honestly look at your budget, and just categorize the essential vs non-essential payments you make monthly.
Essential is food, water and lights, Internet, rent or mortgage payment, car payment, the insurances you can’t do without. For some this will include health insurance - for some not. I leave that up to you.
Anything else that is extra or redundant - additional insurances, policies that can be paused, entertainment, extra cellphones, cable TV (you can use the Internet), and anything else that you believe applies to the statement: “I can honestly live without it” - put that into another total or column.
You can also look at additional vehicle or monthly payments that can be cancelled here, or items that can be sold or similar. You can also include expenses you can reduce, for example moving your child to a less expensive school.
Now just do a simple percentage calculation of how much of what you spend is necessary versus what is redundant. The answers are going to surprise you - they really did me at first.
On a separate list you can list all the monthly debt payments you make and just look at how much extra money you’d have if you didn’t have to make those monthly payments.
The Fates lead she who will - she who won't they drag!
I remember when I first decided I was going to be an ADULT and go get me some policies and stuff. My daughter was a toddler at the time and I was so eager to fit in that I would’ve bought into anything to be part of their system.
It was a big moment for me as a single mom - I had a daughter, clearly I was a big girl, and it seemed only right and fair to be providing for her financial future. What a load of hogwash that turned out to be LOL.
Fast-forward a few years later to when I had the rock bottom ego death realization of this lesson: Nothing I want will ever realize. None of my dreams will ever come true. I do not matter and what I want doesn’t matter at all.
I know ego deaths well, they’ve been a constant companion for me, and so I recognized this for what it was - an ego death. And I think I was just so fucking exhausted at that point that I just thought: Okay whatever. It’s just not gonna happen - so I might as well stop struggling now and accept this will continue for a while.
And it has - another couple of years in fact. There has been a definite time bound component to this trial - it’s one of the ways they teach you patience. Yes I have me some of that patience, but it was really hard earned!
But what happened next was extraordinary… as I stopped struggling, the pain stopped.
I changed my life; I adjusted my lifestyle; and I simplified and got rid of everything. And I laughed the whole time.
It didn’t matter how low I got, how hard it got, I kept the faith. I just kept reminding myself that I knew what was happening - I was being stripped bare. I knew this would continue for as long as it would continue, and when it was done I would know.
And every single time that that despair and hopelessness washed over me, or the fear overtook me, I kept my faith. I cycled my way up out of the hole and I focused on keeping myself and us going at a basic level, and learning and sharing and teaching everything that I possibly could.
It’s not easy - you can see that by the gaps in my posts. There are moments - sometimes weeks - that the heaviness overwhelms and drains you, and that’s the morphic field belief systems pushing in on you.
The process of consciousness is taking over control of what the morphic field directs in your system by default - the morphic field is our collective sub- and superconscious minds. Even karma lives in the field, which is why we have to come back to Earth to finish out karmic cycles - they exist here and must be resolved here.
And then we’re empaths - and I am one too. So each time I would shift a level or layer and find some relief the next one would just seep into my system. Boy do I ever have notebooks from this period LOL :)
The result is.... Simply Perfect!
What I didn’t see at the time was the life we were building.
We live a beautiful life and if you’ve had the experience of sharing time with us, it’s addictive.
There are no airs and graces with us - but there is constant love, warmth, laughter, friendship, support, understanding, companionship, growth, evolution, health, freedom, patience, peace, harmony, compromise and so much more.
Compared to the life of luxury we knew, we never would have chosen for these circumstances. And we lived a good life. I was good at marketing and I earned well. I owned a home, my daughter attended an expensive private school and had been appointed head girl, I was completely solvent and ‘mostly' cash flush LOL, employed 15 people, had reached management by my mid-20s, and already had an international media profile for my digital marketing expertise. It’s how I started writing under my name in the first place.
Like so many of you, I thought all of these pieces were crucial to my identity: the mom, the wife, the loyal employee, the loved employer. I had three sets of investors for my business. And in one fell swoop everything started falling apart.
Oh my God did I struggle in the beginning. Every single loss was bitterly painful. Bitterly painful. I just kept taking blow after blow after blow - and every single time I picked myself up and made another plan, something beyond my control went wrong and I was left bearing the consequences of often even-further financial setbacks.
Was I frustrated? Fuck yes. Was I the hell in at God? You bet I was.
I remember screaming at Them one day, asking: what is wrong with me? Why are you punishing me so badly? And I got no response.
Clearly this was before I got the you serve God or God serves you lesson LOL.
But what we have now - I can see how the money got in the way of that. I can see how losing the money helped create what we have, and stripped me bare so that God could become the point of my focus.
They're doing all the heavy lifting for you!
I know it doesn’t look like it, but it all came together for me when my very smart young daughter turned around and looked at me one day and said: They’re taking it all away so that it’s easier for you to leave.
Out of the mouths of babes LOL :)
She was exactly right. She still is.
By taking these things away from you, They are saving you the pain of having to exercise your free will and choose to give them up.
They’re showing you that you can live without these things, but taking them away slowly and systematically.
The only thing worse than losing these things or having then taken from you, would be the dualities of being asked to sacrifice them or give them up.
Don’t think the Gods are above that kind of thing: YHWH orders Abraham to sacrifice his own son to prove his loyalty. Even Athena punishes Medusa for being raped. Yes, you actually read that correctly - for being raped. Gods are strange at times LOL.
Ego Deaths, the Ego Journey & the Ego Cycle
The ego cycle always follows the same steps - launch desire, work towards it, achieve it or give up, experience an anticlimax or ego death, and then launch a new cycle.
The reason spiritual journeyers have difficult lives is that we ask for growth - and you can fit 100 cycles of failure into a single cycle of success. So you grow 100 times as fast.
The lessons often manifest in terms of money because money and greed are some of the biggest energies in the morphic field, and when They make stuff happen, They fit it into the best stories available in the morphic field at that time. So for the Twin Flames, part of my theory around the empath-narcissist bond is based on this too: the most prevalent story is the narcissism, and so They may use that as part of the mission.
At the top of each ego cycle is an ego death. An ego death is a change in identity, either good or bad according to your experience. Getting married is an ego death, but we see it as a positive step. But it changes you from single to husband or wife, which is a change in identity. Going from homeowner to ex-homeowner is similarly just a change in identity - the same cycle.
Where it differs however is the journey.
For people like us that do this with focus on the Divine, and in layers over time, the ego deaths are more manageable.
They just feel extreme because they are isolated from each other, so you go through them repeatedly over your life. The point of this is so that you can learn the patterns and details to help others further along, and so that you don’t have to go through what the others, like narcissists, have to go through.
The flip side of the journey is what people like narcissists go through - all the ego deaths happen at once. What people commonly know as rock bottom.
So you maybe lost your job, and then a while later you and your Twin Flame split, and then your parent died or got diagnosed…. you get the idea. But you did it one piece at a time, in manageable chunks and layers.
The others are going to get everything in one go - so the Mistress finds out she’s involved with a married man, and then emails the wife, and all this becomes public knowledge and you lose professional credibility…. mistress gone, wife gone, kids gone, family gone, divorce, business losses, no one to turn to - all in one fell swoop.
Potentially situations like this lead to suicide - especially with suicide among men because of financial issues peaking over the past few years. The prevalence tells us it’s a common energy in the morphic field at present.
You only THINK you're on the hard path!
I promise you, this could look much worse in your life.
And manifesting will still work while you’re here… so if you personalize this and focus on the 'poor me' aspect, you will just cycle yourself down further into the pit of despair. And your circumstances will continue to get worse.
Don’t even let it happen - it’s way too much work to get out of that hole every time!
Here’s a resource to help you cope: http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/what-money-lesson-are-you-currently-learning
This is a Great Honour!
To be among those who are entering and in their Dark Nights of the Soul right now is truly the greatest honor - and when you see what lies down this path, the wonder and magic that await you, you will be truly grateful that They did this hard work for you.
You are being prepared for a life greater than anything you could ever imagine for yourself - and you will love every minute of being on the other side.
Go easy on yourself and understand you’re walking the path to get there.
Along the way you will shed the things you no longer need and you will arrive light and free and filled with hope.
Then - together we will use our strength and create a world where neither man nor woman ever has to be enslaved by a master or money again.
We are building freedom. We are building heaven on earth.
Keep your eyes on the prize and we’ll get there. Take the knocks and stand tall - you will be so glad you did.