One year after my Twin Flame (finally!) ended

A retrospective view on my Twin Flame ending - and why I’m glad I finally got the hell out of, well, hell!

So this week marks exactly a year since I found out that my Twit Flame had catfished me.

Understandably, I booted his slimy ass to the curve pretty much the moment I found out. A guy who cheats on TWO women for FOUR YEARS is not exactly a keeper LOL - no matter how “extraordinary” the “love” was.

But that’s the thing that traps most Twin Flames isn’t it…? The “pull” of the “love" is undeniable. You can’t resist it, it’s an addiction.

Actually, that’s exactly the excuse that my Twit Flame gave to me to justify this colossal mess he created. He couldn’t resist, he fell deeply in love with me immediately, I was his dream woman… um, but you were going home to someone else?

Is it just me who sees that conflict LOL?

But no, this isn’t going to turn into a moan-fest and bashing of his character; this is about walking away from my Twin Flame and what I’ve learned in the past year.

This is for all the Twin Flames who can’t walk away, or are scared to walk away…. to give you hope that you will be thriving after you make the choice to divest yourself of Twin Flame HELL.

Cos the biggest lesson I’ve learned? Being in a Twin Flame romantic love bond is just pure hell.

Twin Flame romantic love is hell

A question that I commonly get is: “are Twin Flames platonic relationships or just romantic?”

All Twin Flames are platonic - but that’s not the answer you want to hear. It wasn’t the answer I wanted to hear either.

Why do we hang on to Twin Flame love so desperately? Well firstly, it’s addictive. Like scary addictive.

From the moment you connect with that person, the structure of romantic relationships in our current society gives you liberty to become obsessed with that person, to build your entire life and identity around them, to base your entire life on them.

When something permeates so deeply into every aspect of your character and life, and then it hits a speed bump - which Twin Flames do inevitably and OFTEN - then your whole life falls apart.

It’s a crushing heartbreak of immense proportions when you lose a Twin Flame - and the dread of facing that loneliness keeps most of us in place, continually cycling back to this person we can’t bear to be away from.

You know what I mean… one or both of you decides that it’s over, and you’re all determined until you have that conversation, and that heaviness sets in on your chest when you realize it’s done. And then you both start questioning…

For me, this led to an amazing technique that keeps relationships intact - the 48 hour rule.

After a few go rounds I quickly sussed that we always bounced back within 24 to 72 hours - the average balancing period post shift.

So I created a rule that said you could take back any break up within 48 hours - and you had to come back and discuss it within 48 hours.

After a few rounds of that, we just didn’t bother breaking up anymore - inevitably we’d get back together if we spoke 48 hours later.

So it is an amazing technique and tool for keeping Twin Flames together during push-pull duality cycles, but it became part of what trapped me in that hell.

If I’d just listened to the messages I was getting, those telling me to high tail it out of there, I could’ve left at a point, with all my gained resources and tools intact, and potentially the opportunity to still meet someone else I could go forward with - someone worthy of the kind of love that souls like us bring.

But I didn’t listen… and when I did listen it was to fight back, insisting that he was my Chosen One, and I had choice, etc, etc, etc. It was all very dramatic in retrospect lol… almost cringeworthy.

So if you’re getting messages to high tail it out of there, and they’re returning repeatedly, then heed them. A little bit of heartbreak now can save you a whole bunch of heartbreak later!

For me though, the end wasn’t this crazy heartache that I thought it would be. I attribute that to mirrors, hands down! Free mirrors tools at www.lifecoachestoolbox.com/newmirrors/

The most amazing resource I gained during the time spent in Twit Flame Hell, was downloading Mirrors of Relationship as a healing modality.

I REALLY used Mirrors - like up to every spare moment I had, for years everyday, used Mirrors. I have thousands of pictures of whiteboards - and eventually I stopped taking pictures, because there were just too many. And journals of course - I have filled so many journals with shifts, I’ve totally lost count.

So, I came to realize that the point of all this was these amazing tools. And the more advanced ones that followed, like 7Ps of ego ( http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/the-7ps-of-ego-understanding-ego-and-easily-solving-issues-with-mirrors ) and Ego Layers of Separation ( http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/a-simple-analogy-to-understand-ego-with-7ps-of-ego-questions ), not to mention the Meridian Healing and Wing Meridian Activation Modalities ( http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/feedback-on-free-distance-healing ) and so many more.

My website has over 1,000 pages of resources in fact - a single article can cover an entire healing modality or targeted tool, or coaching strategy. My average word count for articles is around 5000 words.

Impressed? Well you’d be even more so if you saw the full body of it - and believe me, so am I.

That thing where they say your greatest fear is discovering that you are greater than anything you could ever imagine? That’s the God-honest truth. I had no idea that all this, and more, could ever pour out of me.

And like every single one of you, I kept giving all the credit to my Twit Flame.

That really hit home when we spoke after I found out about his deception… he said to me: you were doing so well, growing so much, I thought I was so good for you. I thought I was doing the right thing.

Of course he thought that… my desperate need to hang onto this doomed Twit Flame, out of a desperate desire to have a love bond that works, so that I could be acceptable to society ( http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/what-is-the-system ), ensured that I stroked his ego mercilessly. The man practically thought he walked on water.

But we say the right things to keep the person coming back don’t we? Even when we know better and are being warned to leave.

We want guaranteed love

We want guaranteed love - and that’s what we think a Twin Flame means: guaranteed love. And since the most intense form of closeness we can imagine is sexual touching, we assume that sex must be involved in order for it to be really close.

But that’s just a confusion of the urge to oneness ( http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/cult-leaders-the-big-ego-trap-of-special-relationships )… if the physical body didn’t exist, then how would you get close?

The idea that your physical body is real must mean that reality is real - so physical closeness must be the closest thing there is.

But, the Twin Flame is actually about getting you to realize that even though you are alone, and complete alone, you are ALWAYS connected and a part of something greater ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDSeEwABNCU&t=67s&list=PL_nGXJMLD98QofLuhIeGbZ3LN8MqCaxfg&index=2 ). Your individuation is merely a reflection of your separation - you’re used to thinking with ALL, and now you think alone.

As you progress to each stage, the group of Twin Flames you have aspects and connections with keeps growing - I’ve found hundreds of Twin Flames already. A Twin Flame simply means we share a common soul aspect. ( http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/twin-flames-and-soulmates-what-s-the-difference )

I’m gonna give you a big shortcut here… every single being alive on Earth currently has a shared Twin Flame aspect. All of us alive are Twin Flames, because that’s how they will evolve us into a connected hive mind over time. Read more at http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/the-creation-unification-story-for-lightworkers and look at the levels in the infographic especially.

After Twin Flames (4D), we ALL become psychically connected - that’s what all these abilities are opening up for. This is 5D.

Have you noticed we’re jumping from 3D to 5D?

4D happened, but they left the Jesus Christ and Mary Magdelene Twin Flame story out of it. We’re kinda skipping 4D if you will, to get us to a point where we are all Twin Flames, all “love” each other - accept and are in harmony and peace with each other - and are all able to do the cool Twin Flame stuff… like communicate energetically and through thought.

Yip - the WHOLE WORLD is meant to get wired together where we’re going now. We’re supposed to be over the love story part of it already.

We’ve run out of time for romance now

That feeling that we’ve run out of time? That’s right you know. I’m sorry to be the messenger on this one. Was unbearably hard for me to swallow at first too.

Thing is, romance takes a HUGE amount of time - I remember getting annoyed at how much time and effort went into maintaining my long distance relationship. I often questioned if the time input was worth it, considering how rarely we got to see each other.

And Twin Flames… well Twin Flames quickly take up your whole life. Man, keeping in touch with that person takes up all your energy - and the rest of the time you spend thinking about them.

So the past six or seven years was actually about you getting that romance and time-wasting shit out of your system, so that we could go forward with the actual JOB of what we’re here to do now.

So the bad news is… all of this that you’ve been through up until now? It’s only to prepare you for what we will have to potentially face going forward. We’re just approaching the starting line.

The emotional chaos was to make sure that you could find your feet and stay centered in any storm - no matter how scared you were or what you were afraid of losing.

Losing a Twin Flame is the ULTIMATE lesson of detachment.

But when you do, oh boy, when you do….

There is a next level

And that level is complete alone.

And it happens seriously quickly when it happens. Like unbelievably so. Usually within a week I’ve noticed.

You will drop one final mirror, get to one final statement, and you will get the hell out of dodge. You’ll be done.

If you’re still with the person, you’ll leave. Seeing quite a bit of that happening now among Twins.

If you’re in the break up period, you will just suddenly be over it. And you will never think about that person again… except in one instance.

That person becomes your “Phantom Lover” - the memory, face, visage, identity, that your mind flicks to when thinking of anything that relates to love bonds or romance or partnership and companionship - until you meet someone else. Read more at http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/twin-flame-break-ups-the-physical-attraction-issue

The thing is, until you met the person that rocked your world, you didn’t know what your ideal lover looked like, so it was a nameless and faceless identity that you imagined. But now you have a picture to put there, so your mind flits to your ex.

It’s not really about them - your mind just needs to make a projection association to an identity to help it process, and they were the last habit you built for it to use.

So you think about that person out of habit… notice how you ALWAYS think about your most recent ex first? Same process.

The moment you get involved with someone else, that will fall away, because you will have another identity to build that habit around.

The only reason you will think of them going forward is because there isn’t someone else to think about… but that will be okay, because you will be complete alone and always connected.

The crazy and heady romance was to secure us and keep us focused on each other so that we would have stable bonds now to support each other as we get SERIOUS about our personal and individual journeys.

But do you really think that it wasn’t catered for that there would be a way forward if those bonds didn’t work? Especially with how flawed humans are, and how easily they give up and fail?

There is ALWAYS a next step.

The decision you made is always the right decision because there is always a future - that’s guaranteed.

If you are considering leaving, and you’ve come to the end of this piece, trust that the universe is answering your question and it’s time to leave.

If you got to the end and you think you can fight for your Twin Flame, then do that.

We are not all on the same paths perfectly, and there may be more tools and resources for you to gather still in your experience.

But understand that this is ALL the Twin Flame is - an experience that allows each of you to become connected to ALL and to be complete in your individuated identity, comfortable with being a part of ALL.

The Twin Flame WILL NEVER be the end goal itself.

This time of Twin Flames was only here so that we could learn quickly - and we all have.

But now… now the fun stuff REALLY begins.

And as someone who has made it to the end of five years of Twin Flame Hell, and survived the break up, and come out stronger than ever on the other side, I can only say this…

When I stopped giving my Twit Flame all the credit for what I am and what I had built, I finally got to see MY worth, and what makes me worthy to stand for God.

That security and peace and confidence and faith you are after lies only in you - you will NEVER need anyone else to access it.

Anything can happen, because we live on a plane of free will - and that means that nothing is guaranteed. Even romantic love.

God gives us free will through oblivion and uncertainty - and we are the Masters of our own destinies.

Claim your destiny. Stop giving your power away and follow the signs that led you here.

You know what to do next.

Written by Chemory Gunko/Amara Christi

Chemory GunkoThe author and creator of the Life Coaches Toolbox, Healer, Life Coach & NLP Practitioner, Chemory Gunko, also known as Amara Christi.

To learn more about working with Amara, click here.

To read what clients have to say about Amara, click here.

To view Amara's articles, click here.

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